


reunited and it feels so good (so much better than i thought it would)

by spellman (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, Healing, M/M, Skype, Wakanda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 04:32:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14908394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/spellman
Summary: He tried to think about love some more.The feeling was there, nothing more than a muscle memory. It was vague, in the back of his mind, but he knew that it was there. He felt it when he was younger, before any of this - before SHIELD, before Hydra, hell - even before the war that tore them apart. When it had just been him and Steve.In which Bucky remembers how he used to love.





	reunited and it feels so good (so much better than i thought it would)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from 'skeleton' by the front bottoms!!

_i’ve got miles to go_

_til i ever get home_

_but the sound of your laugh_

_and your voice on the phone_

_makes me feel like i am already there_

_\- ([x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAq-By5s1ZM)) _

 

There were too many people around him, a constant buzz of talking, not quite loud enough to drown out his thoughts. After a while, only a few stuck around; they were more sincere, more honest with everything. They’d talk to him - treat him like a normal person, which was definitely something that Bucky has been defamiliarized with, especially recently. However, none of this made him feel unwelcome, and none of it made him dislike the girl named Shuri, who he later found out to be T’Challa’s little sister.

On the first day out of cryostasis, Bucky couldn’t move. He could see and hear and think - God, he could finally _think_ again - but he couldn’t move. He heard Shuri telling him that it would take a while for him to get back to normal in terms of reflexes and muscle use (she knew that he could hear and she didn’t treat him like a patient, which he loved).

On the second day out, he could talk but couldn’t walk or hold his own weight. He could move his fingers too, which evidently wasn’t very useful to prevent him from falling out of bed. Slowly, he was getting better with Shuri’s help, he felt more like himself than he had since the 40s, but there was once thing in the back of his mind that wouldn’t leave him alone - Steve. The worst thing was - he knew that he wanted to talk to him - hell, he _needed_ to talk to him and he needed to see him and feel him because he can finally feel again and it’s been so long, but - he didn’t want Steve to see him like this.

He didn’t want Steve to see him _broken_.

He tells this to Shuri, who nods, turning away from her computer to give him a small smile. “You can see Captain Rogers whenever you know you are ready. He knows how to find you; he visited on numerous occasions when you were on ice.” she told him, matter of factly, and he frowned (to the best of his ability).

“He- wait, he visited?” Bucky asked, blinking slowly. “Shit, I didn’t -- shit.”

“What is it, Sergeant Barnes?” she glanced over her shoulder and smirked, turning back to the screen in front of her, typing as she spoke. “Is that a blush I see, Sarge?” Bucky closed his eyes and smiled. _This kid_ , he thought, _she knows too much_.

Truth be told, Bucky didn’t know if he knew what he thought. He knew that he felt again, for sure, but he didn’t know the extent of it. The technology that the Wakandans had used to fix his brain was something different, something that Bucky was certain the rest of the world didn’t quite understand, and he had been unconscious for the entire process (the case had been the opposite with Hydra, but he dismissed that thought quickly). The point was, that he didn’t know what had happened to his brain. How much of him was left. If he still knew how to love. If he still knew _who_ to love.

He tried to think about love some more.

The feeling was there, nothing more than a muscle memory. It was vague, in the back of his mind, but he knew that it was there. He felt it when he was younger, before any of this - before SHIELD, before Hydra, hell - even before the war that tore them apart. When it had just been him and Steve. A fairground, a park, a bar, their tiny apartment - he had memories, small pieces that he couldn’t for the life of him put together; and _fuck_ , it frustrated him so much. He made a mental note to ask Steve about it.

“Do you think,” he began, turning his head the little amount that he could. “That I could maybe get a message to Steve?”

“Oh, Mr. Barnes, you do insult me. We can do much better than send him a message, here, let me show you.” she pulled out a tablet and started tapping on it until an electronic sound rang from it. “Hey, Peter, I’m just demonstrating to Sergeant Barnes how video chat works, say he-ey!” she turned the screen to face Bucky, who was clearly in awe.

“Oh, um, hi Mr. Barnes, sir.” Peter said, waving to the camera.

“Holy cow,” Bucky whispered, frowning at the tablet. “How the hell does _that_ work?”

“Rocket science and pixie dust,” Shuri smiled, taking away the tablet. “Later, Parker.” she sang, shutting off the app before he could reply. “So what do you think, you could speak to Mr Rogers like that, if you’re not ready to see him in person just yet?”

“Yeah,” Bucky smiled. “Yeah, I’d love to.”

On his third day out of the ice, he finally called Steve. The third day turned into the fourth, which turned into the sixth and pretty soon they’d spoken every day for weeks. There was something persistent in Bucky’s mind - telling him that he was tired of Steve being in hiding. There was so much that he needed to tell him, to show him, but he didn’t know how to ask.

Over the weeks, they spoke about everything - seven decades apart had taken its toll on them - Bucky told Steve about what it was like living in Wakanda, about all of the amazing technology that they had there, and how it had taken him a couple of days to function after coming out of cryo (he likened it to an extended hangover, which Steve loved). Steve told Bucky about everything that he’d missed: Ultron, the Avengers (Bucky couldn’t get over the fact that Steve was friends with an actual _god_ ), the plane crash, everything (everything but Hydra; Steve knew that Bucky wasn’t ready to talk about it just yet.)

Bucky also noticed (though he’d never admit it out loud) that even just talking to Steve about the smallest things was doing more to pull the memory of love from the back of his mind, on the brink of being forgotten. And here Steve was, bringing it back with every goddamned _smile_. He found out that love feels warm. It feels like a vague heat in your chest that’s gone in a split second.

Eventually, Bucky asked Steve what he’d been wondering since he came out of therapy.

“Do you think that you could maybe come and visit sometime soon?” Bucky asked, staring below the screen. Steve bit his cheek to stop himself from smiling.

“Yeah. I’d love to.”

On the 28th day, Steve let Sam know of his departure, leaving him and Nat in charge, and he nodded understandingly. “Stay safe, pal.” he told him, before getting in his car and making his way to the airport.

Every hour dragged on, and he found himself wondering why his plane wasn’t landing already - he’d waited long enough. He was restless for the entire journey, to say the least - he even resorted to pacing up and down the jet at one point, just letting his mind wander for once.

It was one thing that he’d lost Bucky too many times over the years, but it was that he’d found him; he knew that he was alive, for the most part, but it wasn’t him. And he thought that he’d never get him back again, not like he was before, but here. They’d spoken online for weeks and it was Bucky. He seemed tired, he was one arm down and constantly anxious, but it was him. What are the odds that they’d both be here, in the _future_ , _together_.

The worst thing was that he was scared. And no, not in the same way that he’d be scared of somebody dangerous - God knows he’s had to deal with that before, but scared because he didn’t know if Bucky actually remembered. They hadn’t spoken about where they’d left off, so to say, how it had taken forever for Steve to move on after Bucky’s alleged death, and he wanted Bucky to remember, but he didn’t know if he would. He tried not to get his hopes up.

No, the worst part was that Steve had never fallen out of love. He didn’t know if it was because he never had the time - (there was always a plane to be crashed or a force of evil to fight) or because he was in too deep, now. He’d loved Bucky since years before he knew, years before he knew that boys could like other boys in that way, and he thought that maybe it had just been too long, and that they had too much history that he couldn’t forget about.

Eventually, the jet landed, he greeted Shuri and King T’Challa at the gates of the city, and they showed him to where Bucky was staying. They’d supplied him with a hut on the outskirts of the city that he was as of yet to move into (Shuri was still wary of his health; she wanted to do everything to keep him safe). Shuri nodded to the door opposite, motioning towards it. “I’ll leave you to it, Mr. Rogers,” she smiled politely before nudging him on the arm and whispering “Go get him, Captain.”

He shook his head, chuckling quietly before standing outside the door for a second or two. _This is Bucky_ , he thought, _and he’s finally okay and here._ He knocked softly on the door, pushing it open and stepping inside. “Steve,” Bucky smiled, a little breathlessly. “Hi.” _The sight of him made you smile,_ Bucky thought, those persistent thoughts in the back of his mind that constantly told him what he already knew, i _s that love?_

“Hey, Buck,” Steve whispered. He could feel his face heating but didn’t care. For a brief moment, they both stood motionless, just smiling at each other before they both simultaneously lunged forward and embraced the other. Steve held Bucky tightly, as if he’d lose him again if he let go for just a second. They remained like this for quite some time, holding each other together, finally being able to _feel_ again.

Steve pulled back but didn’t loosen his hold on him, his fingers intertwined behind Bucky’s neck. Bucky had his arm around Steve’s waist, moving it up to his shoulder and then his cheek, needing to feel as much as he can because this is it, he thought, this is what love feels like, and suddenly he _remembers_ how they used to love before; he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Steve’s. All at once, he remembered everything that he knew about love, everything that he’d learned, that so many years with the love of his life, then so many years without had taught him.

When they both pulled back, Steve smiled, his hands found their way to Bucky’s, “You remembered,” he shook his head in disbelief, he pressed a soft kiss to Bucky’s hand and laced their fingers.

“Steve, how could I- how could I forget?” he looked up from where their hands were linked, holding  Steve’s soft gaze. “I love you. I wasn’t sure that I could - I didn’t know if I still knew how to love you but-- I do.”

“Buck I-- God, I love you so much.” Steve shook his head before moving to kiss him again, because they’ve both waited so long to be able to love each other again and, fuck, it’s been seventy years but he somehow loves him the same through everything. He fell in love so long ago with that one kid from Brooklyn: his best friend, his other half, _his Bucky_.

On the twenty eighth day, they were together. They were love.

_you are my angel_

_you are my crime_

_i’ll serve this sentence_

_for the rest of my life_

_\- ([x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIRznt1CFiM)) _

**Author's Note:**

> some Things:
> 
> \- this was beta'd by my bbf (best beta 4ever) the-artofconfusion!! i'm so mean for making you beta my fics during exam season but i owe you my entire life for it <3 tysm
> 
> \- the song lyrics before and after aren't from the same song but in my defence i did want them to match but the rest of the first song is about being stoned in a car so yea
> 
> \- it's 2018 and i'm living my best life pretending that infinity war never happened (it's not canon @ me russo brothers)
> 
> \- comments fuel my gay powers, give a homo some extra power this pride month and leave some love in the comments


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